The Southern Belle of the Enterprise
by BrightViolatedInk
Summary: Our dear Leonard "Bones" McCoy has had a terrible turn of luck with Captain Kirk during a poker game and now has to own up to it which involves his lovely southern drawl and baby blue dress!


**Star Trek: TOS**

Leonard "Bones" McCoy

**The Southern Belle of the Enterprise**

"Jim. Do I really have to do this?"

"Of course ya do Bones! You lost the bet so own up to it my good man!"

The chief medical officer of the U.S.S Enterprise grumbled a long string of curses as he looked at himself in a full body mirror. He stared at himself as he took in his outfit, a long, billowy, form fitting, layered baby blue dress. The upper half of the dress hugged the doctor's torso tightly. The collar of the dress was at his chest and around his shoulders so that the top of his shoulders and a little of his chest were exposed. The sleeves themselves where just the extension of the collar, like straps, and only covered three inches of McCoy's arms under his shoulders. The collar and straps were a bright gold lace, and where collar lay on McCoy's chest in the middle of it were gold strings that that were tied in a bow. The bottom half of the dress started with a large gold sash around the doctor's waist that tied off in the back as a large and fluffy gold bow. The dress was long and billowy around his form and was cut in three layers, each layer edged in bright gold lace.

McCoy grabbed the dress with his baby blue gloved hands and pulled it up a little to see what lay beneath. Sure he put the dress on himself, but he had to see everything for it to really sink in.

Under the dress he wore white stockings and baby blue buckle shoes. He stared at his reflection then moved his eyes up to focus on his face. The undeniable scowl was present on his face as he saw the gold choker around his neck. His hair was still the same and he was thankful he talked Jim out of the wearing the bonnet that came with the dress.

"Well doctor, are you ready for the day," asked Jim with a grin on his face.

McCoy could see the smug look from the mirror and he turned around to glare at him.

"Sure Captain. The sooner this is over the sooner I can get out of this damn dress!"

With that the doctor headed to leave his quarters that he had held himself up in in a vain attempt to not go through with their bet. Who would have guessed that Kirk would actually beat him at poker this time around?

"Ah! Bones, I believe you're forgetting a few things," called out Kirk who quickly walked up behind McCoy.

"And what would that be?"

"One, you forgot your umbrella," Kirk reached over and picked up a frilly baby blue and gold trimmed umbrella with a white curved handle that was leaning by the door, and held it out for McCoy. "Two, you need to speak in that southern belle voice that only you can do. That's what this is all about you know," stated the Captain as he gave a smirk.

McCoy glared at him and said:

"For the love of god you gonna be the death of me! Gonna make me fly of the handle and just keel over aren't cha," questioned Bones as he grumbled more while forcefully taking the umbrella and using it as a cane as he left the room. Captain Kirk was hot on his heels as he left, not wanting to miss a moment of this.

**...**

Kirk followed McCoy through the ship towards the medical bay and it took all his will power to not laugh at the man. Everyone they passed on the ship stared blatantly at the doctor and they looked away just as quickly once Bones gave them the darkest glare in McCoy history. By the time they stepped into med bay McCoy was ready to bust a vain and fight the next person that stared at him.

"Oh, Dr. McCoy I have the results of the—"

Nurse Chapel froze once she got a look at the doctor. The doctor was completely red in the face, lips curled in a permanent scowl, eyebrows furrowed, and hands holding a death grip on the umbrella he had. Jim looked at McCoy who stood there saying absolutely nothing knowing full well if he did speak it had to be like a southern belle. Kirk nudge Bones and the doctor instantly flinched then let out a strangled sigh. His slate colored eyes moved up to look at his nurse and he gave a deep breath before speaking.

"Well isn't that darlin'. I was just fixin' to come and do that myself," he said in his best, as in calmest, soft southern voice.

Nurse Chapel was still stunned and McCoy just reached out a baby blue gloved hand and pointed to the datapad in her hands.

"Mind if I take a gander at that Ms. Chapel?"

"O-Oh, not all here," she said quickly once her shock wore off.

She handed it over to McCoy who quickly buried his blushing face into it. Chapel looked to her captain to find him smiling widely and trying to hold back on laughing. She looked back to McCoy to take in his outfit then back to Kirk, and gave him a questioning look. Kirk just winked at her and she figured that it was some sort of game between the two of them. She shook her head and right then McCoy looked up at her.

"Well, these results are good. He can go back to his station, but I'll give him something for his stomach."

"Ah, Bones!"

The CMO looked back at Kirk and groaned at what the other was implying.

"I do declare that this man is as healthy as all get out, but I'll still give him a lil something for that stomach of his," he stated, paraphrasing his earlier words and handed the datapad back with the prescription written on it.

"Okay Doctor, and I do say that you look lovely in that color."

Bones instantly blushed a dark shade of red and Jim put an arm over his blushing friend.

"Aw, it seems the doctor is," he paused he tried to recall a phrase he once heard from the doctor, "blushing like an apple in June. Isn't that right Bones?"

McCoy instantly went from blushing in embarrassment to turning red in anger. He moved away from Kirk and turned to leave the sick bay. The doctor's dress flowed around him at his quick movements and made it seem like the man nearly floated out of the room. Kirk let a laugh slip out before chasing after the good doctor. Nurse Chapel just giggled to herself at the sight and went to follow what McCoy instructed.

**...**

"Aw, come on Bones don't get your feathers all ruffled. It's all a part of the bet!"

"Jim! I'm a doctor not a Southern Belle," exclaimed McCoy fuming.

"Okay, okay. How about we take a nice stroll to the bridge and after that you can get out of the dress."

McCoy stopped walking and arched an eyebrow at Jim.

"You want me, to go to the bridge, like this?!"

"Yes, if you can put on a flawless performance on the bridge then I'll end the bet. I'll never make you do this again."

The good doctor mulled over the idea in his head and realized it was a good compromise, but it would also be the worst thing ever. Having to show up as he was in front of the bridge crew, his friends, and the damn hobgoblin. McCoy licked his lips and swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat before answering.

"Well ain't that just the bee's knees! You got yerself a deal," he said with the best I-think-I-can-do-this smile then headed off to the turbo lift to face his maker.

When the lift swooshed open Kirk stepped out first then was followed by McCoy. Everyone on the bridge was busy with their usual devices, but once McCoy stepped out, one by one, everyone looked at him. Chekov was the first to turn around; his intention was to inform his captain of their course heading, but once he saw the man in the baby blue dress he froze. His silence was followed by Sulu's wondering eyes, then Uhura, Spock, Scotty, and everyone else present on the bridge. The doctor gave a nervous smile and looked at Kirk who just smiled at him.

'_Come on Leonard. You just gotta get through this flawlessly then you're free!'_

Bones looked at everyone then put his hands on his hips, his umbrella hooked on his wrist, and arched his eyebrow.

"What? Ain't like you ever seen a southern belle before? My, my, ya'll acting like you got caught with your pants down."

Everyone was completely stunned and Kirk just gave a smile and a thumbs up. Bones felt his little boost from his self-talk start to die along with his pride as everyone kept gaping at him. He looked over to Uhura with a help-me-out look on his face. She gasped inwardly then cleared her throat.

"O-Oh, don't you look pretty today Dr. McCoy," she said calmly not knowing what exactly to say to help, but judging by the blush that quickly conquered the doctor's face, it was not want he wanted.

Bones looked at Kirk who was now in his Captain's chair that was turned to face Bones and just waited for a response. McCoy bit his lip then let out a sigh.

"Why thank you darlin'. I do look as pretty as a Magnolia in May don't I?"

It was that moment that Kirk just couldn't hold it in any longer. He had a cracked smile come to his face then a chuckle slipped out which quickly turned into a full on giggle fit. He clutched his stomach and turned his chair back around to face the vid screen. Bones blushed more and stomped down to stand beside Kirk looking livid. He crossed his arms and stared at the hysterical captain.

"Why I have half a mind to beat you black and blue with this here umbrella Jim," he seethed, still using his soft Southern voice.

Jim wiped at his eyes and took deep breaths as he tried to calm down. As he did so Chekov finally spoke up to the odd situation before him.

"What is going on keptain?"

Jim looked over to Bones once he was fully under control of himself, then sat up straight in his chair and he looked over to Chekov.

"Ah, just a bet. Poor Bones here lost to me in a poker game."

It was then that everyone got over their shock and gave an "Oooh" of understanding. Scotty cracked a smile and leaned against the railing nearest to Bones.

"Well might I say you do make a fine lass Doctor. The baby blue fits you well aye?"

Bones had to resist the urge to groan in annoyance and just settled for turning redder in the face.

"Why thank ya Scotty. It was Jim who picked out this little number for little ol' me. Though I'm sweating like a sinner in church because of it."

"Ah, you sure that's because of the dress Bones," asked Jim and McCoy instantly flashed him a look that could kill. Jim just grinned at him then looked over to his first officer.

"Hey Spock. What do you think of the Enterprise's Southern Belle?"

At that moment McCoy felt like he was either going to die or kill Kirk or do both.

"Captain, I do not believe I am familiar with the term Southern Belle," stated Spock as he turned around from his station and walked down to stand beside Kirk as usual.

"Ah, well Bones why don't you enlighten him?"

Bones grumbled under his breath and squeezed his folded arms with his hands.

"Alright. A Southern Belle is a woman of high class in the south. She's graceful and respected."

"And due to an illogical game you became a Southern Belle?"

McCoy just nodded and had to really suppress the urge to smack the raised eyebrow and little Vulcan smirk off of Spock's face.

"It wasn't illogical Mr. Spock. It was just a good old game that McCoy just so happened to not win at for once in a long while."

"I see. Well since my opinion was asked for I will say that I agree with Mr. Scott. That shade of soft blue works well for you, Doctor."

"I reckon I'm gonna need some white lightening by the end of this," muttered Bones as pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Well you are doing a fine job honey," stated Uhura from behind them.

"Much obliged, but I feel like I got the short end of the stick."

"Well what would have been the Captain's punishment," asked Scotty curiously.

"Our darlin' Captain would have to put on a dress and get all dolled up to try and seduce _someone_," the doctor stated with a wicked grin.

His slate colored eyes eyed Kirk then the Vulcan beside him. At that moment Kirk cleared his throat and faced his friend.

"Now Bones, uh, I do think you did quite well. So you can take off the dress now."

"Oh my beating heart," stated McCoy while throwing a hand over his forehead as if to faint. "I'll be out of this thing in two shakes of a sheep's tail."

With that Bones hurriedly gathered up his dress, which unfortunately let everyone see what lay underneath. No one said a thing about the white stockings or shoes, but they were surely going to point it out once the good doctor returned. Once Bones was in the lift he popped open his umbrella, casting a shadow over his face, turned to the side a little, lidded his eyes in a dangerous seductive manner, and smiled coyly.

"Oh and Captain, just you wait, the sun don't shine on the same dog's tail all the time. I reckon you have a medical exam due soon."

Once that was said the lift closed and Jim along with everyone else (except Spock) shivered at the clear threat that resided in the doctor's words.

"Well, it was fun while it lasted."

* * *

><p><strong><span>Inspiration:<span>**

adestroy. tumblr .com post/68906879954/spatscolombo-never-forget-that-spocks-kirk

*** I apologize for any spelling or grammar errors and for any extreme OOC(for those who hate that. I never intend to make them that way.)*Just something I came up with I while ago from some inspiration I forgot, but I found it again and quickly typed this up!xp* I hope you enjoyed it! Reviews Welcomed!***


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